Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What does the Bible say about the Antichrist? How will we know when he arrives on the scene?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why would a spouse cheat if the marriage is good?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What do you do you do if your motorcycle chain snaps while riding on the highway?

I see through liars

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why does my private parts itch so much during certain periods?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Thanks to FIFA, Atlanta’s first-ever Club World Cup game was underwhelming - AJC.com

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What's your wildest & weirdest fantasy?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fakery

12 Shocking Celebrity Revelations From This Week That You Simply Won't Believe - BuzzFeed

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions